Entry: Accept the apology that never came Tuesday, May 13, 2014

I have been trying really hard accepting the apology that will never come. I am not sure if it’s fair for me to insist on moving on or if I should say straight to her face how much she hurt me. I thought that I knew who my true friends are, that the people I am with are the real ones. Apparently, there are some who would just intoxicate me with their negativity.

I want to tell you that I can’t believe you have the nerve to act the way you did. I hate you for acting like you’re the victim and all that you did was right. I am hurting because you treated me like I am one of those stupid guys that you’ve dated. Yes – I was never your friend, you treated me like trash. If you truly were the friend you said you were, you wouldn’t make me look, feel shit every time you dug yourself a hole. I tried to reach out every single time, and yet when your faults are discussed, you start to shutdown, worst – you blame it on me.

How many times have you used me?
How many times have you lied to me?

How many times have you been true to me?

I don’t know which is true anymore. I wanted to tell you how much you’ve hurt me and yet, I never had the chance coz you’ve actually acted victim – again.

Nonetheless, the decision to move out of EW was the best thing I’ve ever done. For the first time, I decided for my own well being. I will never be happy in EW again, knowing that I’ll see you everyday. I am sad because I know feel this much angst towards you and yet I feel relief because finally I am thinking of myself first – finally!

I still in the process of accepting that I’ll never get that apology I’ve always wanted. You’ll never apologize, you’re too proud and you think you’re always right. I just have to accept the fact, so I can be happy.

FYI, I didn’t know you blocked me, I found out from other people. It’s actually a good thing because my news feed is full of good vibes now. BANG!

P.S. We are not the problem missy, you’re too angry to see that you’re the cause of all the negativity and bad luck that you’ve been experiencing. How many times have you consulted the cards? How many times have they stated the SAME THING? Grow up! Learn how to be accountable to your own actions. You are close to being 40.


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