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Mia Bodestyne

30 years old and damn proud about it. I may be stubborn at times but if you are my friend/family member, i'll go above and beyond to help you out. I am who I am because of all the entries I have in this blog. It's fun to look back to all the crazy posts I had because it reminds me of who I was and who I am. I always look forward to the future. Remember, all you need is love and some pixie dust. :-)

Created: October 10, 2007

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"You don't choose who to love, LOVE CHOOSES YOU." - Nip Tuck

"Men learn from institutions and organizations, WOMEN learn from EACH OTHER" - Iyanla Vanzant

"The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate." - Oprah Winfrey

"You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world." - Brad Pitt in the Fight Club (1999)

"what is essential is invisible to the eye" - Antoine the Saint Exupery

"No life is a waste," the Blue Man said. "The only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we are alone." - p. 50 of Mitch Albom's Five people you meet in heaven

"But the eyes are blind. One must look with the heart" - Chapter XXV of the Little Prince

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Monday, May 14, 2012
Embracing the heart break

There are some things in life that we fail to acknowledge. We fail because one, we’re too afraid to admit it. Two, we’re too stubborn to accept things. Three, we don’t want to let go of something that made us feel s good. And lastly, we don’t want to validate what is too obvious. I am guilty of all four points. Oh yes, I am!

I believe that all good things come to those who pray. There will be moments wherein prayers are unanswered because that is the answer. I held on tight to a sweet encounter that led to my sweet downfall. I am hurting. I am nursing a broken heart but what can I do? I can’t run away from what is clearly seen by my eyes. Yes, I am beginning to accept that he will never be mine. As much as I would like to be ‘the one’ for him that will never happen. I am ‘the one’ but for someone else.

I will fall in love again. I know I will. Right now, I am just treading the waters. As I have said, I am still nursing a broken heart. It will take some time before I can say that I’ve finally moved on, but I know that time will come. When exactly, I don’t know, but it will happen. I believe I was destined to experience this just so; I can share it to my nieces, nephew and my kids. I will tell them that it is not bad to fall in love even if it is not reciprocated.

Loving is a gift that we can give to someone. What we get as a reaction is totally different story. I think that it takes a lot of guts to fall in love, because you’ll never know what the other person feels and thinks if he or she finds out. There are no guarantees in Love; sometimes what you thought is yours is actually owned by someone else. What you’ve thought to be real may just be genuine friendship.

I have mistaken this encounter as something else. I guess, there were just too many signals, I lost count. There were too many moments that can be used as storylines in a novel. I was whisked away into this dream that everything seemed real. I believe he was true, but what we really had wasn’t love – it was friendship.

There will be that one person who will give me that kind of love that I will never forget. I will have that kind of love that I need, the kind of love that I’ve hoped and prayed for all these years. I have waited this long so why not wait for the right one. I’ve outgrown that part of me who just wanted to be in a relationship just so I can change my Facebook status. I am learning that this is not yet my time. My time will come when I am ready.

I am embracing my heartbreak.
I am proud that I took the risk of falling even if no one was there to catch me.
I will be okay. My broken heart will heal and glisten like never before. When that time comes I know I will be happy.          

Posted at 1:20 am by mianne
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Monday, May 07, 2012
To end a story that never began

 There are things that better said than done. I speak my truth when I say that I am in mourning and I can’t seem to let it go. I can say that I am still hanging on to something that will never happen, or can happen but not today. I am sad, I really am, I am hiding behind my red lips and my loud laugh. But I am deeply heartbroken, I really am.

There are moments wherein I just want to run and hide. A part of me wants to just go far away from you but you keep on pulling me back. I feel it’s not fair for you to be treated differently; it was not your fault that I’ve fallen. Yes, I have fallen. I admit it, I’VE FALLEN IN LOVE. Sad to say, you weren’t there to see me fall. I believe you were busy somewhere else.

I did this to myself. It’s my fault, I could have made myself stronger. I should have known better. I cry to Him all the time because I know that this is something that I did to myself and I know I have to go through this to know that life is never easy. I am going through something that I have never felt or undergone before. It will never be a piece of cake, i just have to learn the lesson.

I am trying my best. Every time I go ahead one step, I always go two steps back. I can do this I know I can. Maybe what is holding me back is the fact that they never knew you like I did. They didn't see you at your craziest, I did. They didn't see you at your most vulnerable state, I did. They never saw you at your best, I did. There were things that we've shared to each other that they never knew. There were little things that made our bond stronger.

A part of me believes that this story will open a new chapter for the both of us. I believe that one day, i will write an entry that will finally end my heartache. I will forever be your friend. I will always believe in you even if everyone else doesn't. I will always be your supporter.

I believe in you. I believe in the guy who genuinely opened a part of his life to me. I will never regret the day that I met you.

What lies ahead is something that I am in a way scared to face, however, I have to face the music one way or another. So, I just have to be strong.

I can do this.
I know I can.

Posted at 1:39 pm by mianne
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Monday, January 23, 2012
Never let them go

Through time I realized that friends are never judgmental. They see you as who you are and not what you’re wearing. They pick you up when no one seems to care and they nurse you until you feel better. Friends tell you what you need to know and not what you want to know. They tell it to you straight out. Friends not only hear you but they listen. They listen to your thoughts whether you say them or not. I am fortunate enough to have known women who fit the bill. Yes, they knew who I was then, and they know who I am now.

We’ve all grown. We’ve met a lot of people along the way. We’ve experienced things on our own and as a group. And yet, we still meet at the same wavelength and we never get tired of each other. That is what I love about us, we may have different interests but once we meet up, we turn into these high school giddy girls. :-)

I will never get tired of these girls. I will never lose touch of how we were then. I will never lose focus on our friendship and everything that we will experience in the future.    

I will never let them go.    

Posted at 11:08 am by mianne
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Saturday, December 31, 2011
Have I thanked everyone enough?

I am not sure if I did. So, I am taking this opportunity to say a big a** THANK YOU to everyone who made my 2011 A-W-E-S-O-M-E!!!! :-)

No words can ever express the happiness I have felt and have been feeling this year. There have been a lot of ups and downs and believe you me, there were a lot. I started this year with doubt, I was uncertain where I was headed and who I am as a person. There were times during the start of the year, when I doubted my abilities. The start of 2011 has been pretty tough and I started to realize that not all things come easy.

2011 has been a year full of surprises. From a surprising job offer to a surprise birthday party organized by friends. This year has been really good to me. 2011 marked my 25th year of existence and I guess that is one of the reasons why I felt so indifferent. I came to realize that age is just a number and your life is not dictated by your love life. I learned that maturity does not come with age but with experience. And that, there are a lot of people who love me. I was never alone, I just chose to be lonely.    

There were people who came and left, and there were some who just disappeared. I met new people who took friendship to a whole new level. I met people who taught how to make people special in their own little ways. And I met people who saw me for who I am. :-) 

Have I thanked everyone enough? Honestly, I don't know because I can't really express the happiness that I am feeling now. Looking back to how this year started and how it is now, hours before 12MN, the difference is so overwhelming. Goodness things really come to those who make it happen. :-) I can't thank you enough, and most especially I can't thank Him enough for blessing me with awesome people and experiences. 

To everyone who shared their 2011 with me, thank you! To those who took their time to know me, thank you! To those who stayed regardless of anything and everything, thank you! And to you, who made me smile just by being you, thank you! ;)

I am looking forward to another "OH-Some" year. I am can feel something good will happen SOON.
Happy New Year everyone! Spread and feel the love.
God bless everyone! :-)   


Posted at 11:14 pm by mianne
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Monday, August 29, 2011
Piece of Me

I am a very passionate person. I value my family and friends so much that hurting them means hurting me. There are certain times wherein you shrug things off, because you’d rather spend your time and energy being happy than feeling the total opposite. So, I’ve been pretty patient for quite sometime and I must say, I have been a really good girl by not saying anything. I am still a good girl, don’t get me wrong. However, I can only take so much. So please, I beg you, stop acting like a victim and start looking at yourself in the mirror. All I can see is a person screaming for attention at the expense of other people.

I don’t know if you will be able to read this, I actually don’t care. I just want to let it out and if by writing I can achieve that freedom then, so be it. I am tired of hearing your one-sided stories; you were never open to what I have to say. All you cared about was yourself and how you feel. You never cared about me and how I would feel about your thoughtless comments. I know, I will never be the same ‘level’ as you, I don’t want to be anyway, so stop! I don’t have any plans of being at the same level as you are. I dream bigger things for myself. So, the question is, what made me stick around? Pity? Not really. It was more of me being polite and actually seeing your better side. Nonetheless, the real you came out, and then I was left speechless. So speechless, I need to walk out. And that is what I have decided to do, you’ll never listen to me anyway, so, why bother? I have decided our fate as friends. Goodbye, see you somewhere but I hope not any time soon.

I have other things to do. I don’t need your drama nor your mean comments.


Posted at 3:06 pm by mianne
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Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Sorry for bullying you

There are some things that we’re not proud of. There are choices that we made that were not for the better of ourselves or the other parties. I was watching an episode of “If you only knew me” and it dealt with the issue of bullying in different schools in the US. It got me thinking, I was once an oppressor and the oppressed.

I must admit, I held back all the emotions I had regarding the bullying I experienced in the past. I believe it’s about time I actually talk about it and let it out. Yes, I was a victim of bullying too when I was younger. Bullying caused me to try really hard to skip school. It caused me to actually attempt falling down the stairs just to have a sprain which will trigger my mom to not send me to school. I went to extreme lengths just to avoid going to school. However, all my efforts to skip class were unsuccessful. Everyday was a challenge for me, I was scared if they will say something about me that will hurt my feelings, again. I knew I had imperfections who doesn’t, but I felt like I was too imperfect in this already imperfect setting. Yes, I felt inadequate. The whole school year was like a drag, it felt like 10 years in that classroom. What kept me sane? The birth of my sister’s eldest daughter. My niece made me look forward to weekends and family gatherings, in a way I got distracted of all the negative vibes I get from school. Back at home I was just like any normal kid but at school, I was depressed. Who would have thought that a 12 year old can actually feel depressed?

Just like what I said earlier, there are some things in my past that I am not proud of. I made comments about other people that hurt their feelings. I am sorry. It took me a long time to say this maybe because I still can’t fully accept the pain I went through in the past. I am not proud of my actions then. I admit that I was in survival mode then, because I knew I won’t make it out alive in that jungle. Nevertheless, I won’t make excuses. I know I should have done better. If there is anyone who knew what it felt like to be bullied it was me. Again, I am not proud of it. And again, I am sorry.

I am not sharing this to point fingers at anyone. I knew now that what happened then was not my fault. I guess there are just kids who are happy making fun of other kids. But we have to remember that bullying is not the answer to popularity. Bullying is not the answer to making your friends laugh especially if it is at the expense of another person. Always remember the golden rule.

I want to say sorry to everyone that I have hurt in the past. I wish all of you nothing but the best in life. From what I see, most of them are doing well. Life has its own way of teaching us lessons. I learned mine; I hope some people did as well. Also, I want to apologize to myself, I should have said something then, but I was too scared. However, I learned to value myself more now, I am almost at the top. I know I am.

I can say that now I feel more at peace with myself. I can finally say that past is past.

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Posted at 1:30 am by mianne
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Sunday, June 12, 2011
Malaya na ba tayo?

Maligayang araw ng Kalayaan sa lahat ng Pilipino sa buong mundo!

Tuwing sumasapit ang ika-12 ng Hunyo, inaalala ng bawat Pinoy ang araw ng ating kasarinlan. Kung tutuusin malayo na ang narating nating mga Pilipino. Mula sa pananakop ng mga Kastila at sa pagdating ng mga Amerikano hanggang sa pagsiklab ng ikalawang digmaang pandaigdig at pagdating ng mga Hapon, na rito parin ang mga Pilipino at namamayagpag.

Tunay naman ng malayo na ang narating ng ating lahi. Marami na tayong mga kababayan na nakapagpamalas na ng kanilang talento sa ibayong dagat. Marami na rin tayong mga kababayan na nagtatrabaho sa ibang bansa. Marami na rin sa ating mga kababayan ang nagpakita ng kanilang galing sa larangan ng palakasan.

Ngunit sa bawat tagumpay kaagapay nito ang mga pagsubok. Tulad din ng ano mang sikat na bansa, tayo ay may mga kapintasan din. Nakakalungkot isipin na kapwa Pilipino pa natin ang lumoloko sa atin, na ang mga taong niluklok natin sa gobyerno ang numero unong sumira n gating tiwala sa Republica. Marami ng nagdaan na mga paglilitis upang malaman kung sino ang tunay na may kasalanan ngunit hanggang ngayon, marami sa mga biktima ang hindi pa nakukuha ang katarungan. Marami pang mga isyu ang hindi pa nalulutas at sa aking tingin matagal pa bago natin malaman ang mga sagot sa mga tanong.

Malaki na ang ipinagbago ng kabataang Pilipino. Hindi na kami tulad ng mga sinaunang Pinoy na konserbatibo. Mula sa pananamit hanggang sa pananalita, iba na ang kabataang Pinoy. Tunay na namamayagpag ang mga impluwensya ng mga banyaga. Iba na ang aliwan ng mga bata ngayon, hindi na uso ang tumbang preso, patintero, piko, atbp. Napalitan na ito ng PSP, Xbox, Dota, atbp. Minsan naiisip ko tuloy, may natitira pa kayang Pilipino sa diwa ng bawat bata ngayon. Masakit mang isipin ngunit ang ating kultura ay napasok na ng Pop culture. Hindi ko sinasabi na masama ito, ang akin lamang mas maganda sana kung malakas parin ang diwa Pilipino natin. Ang wikang Tagalog na lang ata ang masasabi kong natitirang Pinoy sa iba. Huwag naman sana.

Pero ako, ipinagmamalaki ko na ako ay Pilipino. Ako ay nagmula sa isang lahi na may magandang kultura. Oo, parte kami nga mga third world countries ngunit hindi ko parin ipagpapalit ang kinagisnan ko. Oo, PILIPINO AKO. 

113 taon na tayong Malaya. Ikaw, Malaya ka na ba?

Maligayang araw ng Kalayaan Pilipinas!

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Posted at 10:37 pm by mianne
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Thursday, June 09, 2011
Good things come to those who pray.

I attended Church service today. It hit me pretty hard, I guess it was too close to home. The past few services were dedicated on the power of prayers. I remember when I was in Pre School; my mom taught me my very first prayer. It was short and sweet. J  Looking back, it was a prayer fit for a toddler and I have to admit, until this very day, I still say that prayer. Haha! Anyway, as I grew older, I learned that prayers can be edited. It can be personalized, and then slowly I started to say my own prayer.

Years passed and my prayers were comprised of different subjects. From passing examinations to a possible love life, I guess, you can say that I pretty much said it all. However, I believe I was tested in a way that only God knew how. I can still say that my prayers are answered; however, there were some things that were always left unrequited. I always pray for good health for my love ones and I never forget to thank Him for everything. We all know that there is no standard or format when it comes to prayers. However, I always put my ‘thank you Lord’ part at the beginning. J Just like what I said, there are a couple of subjects that were always left unanswered.

Again, today’s service was spot on! The Minister said, some prayers are unanswered because, we forget that we are only stating our REQUESTS. It is still up to the Father if what we’re asking for is good for us. Sometimes we overlook that we’re asking for His grace. We are asking for His help and guidance. We think that as humans, we are entitled to be blessed. I believe that is when prayers are left unanswered. It is not because God hates us or doesn’t love us. He is just waiting for us to change our attitudes. While listening to what the Minister was saying, it dawned to me; this was what I was thinking a few weeks before. I realized that I have unanswered prayers because I was asking for the wrong thing. I always talked about myself and what I want to do and how I want to do it. It was always “can I please have it” type of attitude. It took me a year and quite a number of rejections to get things right. I changed my perspective and started asking for His guidance and where I should be. I asked if He could guide me to where I am supposed to be.

A few weeks ago, I got an unexpected call from a company that has rejected me before. I always thought that I will not be able to be part of their company, EVER!  I guess, all I needed to do, was surrender myself to Him and let Him take charge. He will never let you down, you know!

I believe, that God hears all our prayers, and prayers, are our way of communicating to Him. I still have one more topic on my “prayer list” something or more of someone that is still out there. I am not asking for him to come tomorrow, I know he will come and when he does, its going to be one heck of a party!

It is true when I say that, good things come to those who PRAY.

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Posted at 1:01 am by mianne
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Friday, June 03, 2011
I am Filipino, and I am proud of it

I am a Filipina and no, I am not a domestic helper. I am not ashamed of the other Filipinas who chose to be domestic helpers because they want to support their families. I am not ashamed of the other Filipinas who married or are in a relationship with foreigners. I believe that what they have is real, and they did fall in love. I am not ashamed of the other Filipinas who chose to be housewives, because they are mothers and they deserve much respect. I am not ashamed of my kababayans who are trying their best to make ends meet, in every decent way possible.

As a country, we have had our share of mistakes (the Quirino Grandstand hostage came to mind). I think as a nation, we’ve struggled through the whole idea of moving on. Keep in mind that no country is perfect. We have our shortcomings and we as citizens have our opinion on things, however, I also see a country that is united in so many ways. We have values that I believe no other country can top. We have beaches and islands that are worth boasting. We have the sincerest smiles that dare I say, can launch a thousand ships. Haha! All I am saying is, we had our moments but we’re still here, standing.

I have never been this passionate about being Filipino. I am saying this now even without anything brag. And by brag I mean, a boxer who won against a top African American boxer or a young girl from Laguna making it big overseas. I am not bragging about who did what, I am bragging about every single individual who they call as “Philippinos”.

A lot has been said about our country. We must admit that some of them are true; however, we also know that we have positive traits too. We know our strengths, I guess, the challenge is how to change the negative traits. We’ll get there. One step at a time…

We should not be defined by what is written in a dictionary. We as a country should be defined by our love for God, family and country. We are way beyond what some Facebook Page is saying. I believe that only God can pass judgment to man. Last time I checked, he/she is not God, so, whatever.

It is all about RESPECT. Learn to respect so that you will receive respect as well.

I am a Filipino, and I am proud of it.
I finished college and I am about to embark in another challenge.
I am just one of the millions of Filipinos in this country and overseas who are about to make a difference.
I am just a small part of a massive creative machine that is way above the haters.

Yes, you heard me, way above the HATERS.

Posted at 9:51 pm by mianne
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Friday, April 22, 2011
A piece of my 24 year old mind

These past few days have been really crazy for us Filipinos. And I must say that there is too much hustle and bustle when the entire Catholic community is observing the Lenten season. For someone who is not a Catholic, I am bothered by the recent events. I have a lot of family and friends who are Catholics and I will be doing this post with outmost respect for one of the oldest religions in the country.

Again, the past few days have been very challenging for the Church. I think there are some comments that should be kept to oneself. Most especially if it can affect not just the people involved but other people as well. Just like what our parents or elders have said time and again - if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. I believe we should never forget to show respect not just to our house of worship but also to the people inside a certain church.

The RH Bill has been a very sensitive topic for the Catholic Church and some of their followers. As for me, I mentioned at a previous post that I am PRO RH Bill and I guess if I was a Catholic going to church at the Baguio Cathedral, I would have been asked to step out of the church. I remember clearly in Religious Ed back in La Salle that the church is a place for anyone who seeks God. The church is a place for anyone regardless of their sins. So who are you to decide on who should be in church and who shouldn't? I am just askin'.

I believe it is high time that the RH bill is discussed in such a way that both pro and anti parties will understand each other's perspective. For me, I think that it is about time that we do something about our growing population. Growing up, I have seen a lot of kids who missed attending school because they don't have enough money to send every child they have to school. I have seen kids playing along railroads because that is the only home their parents can afford.

I believe that our population is not just harmful for us people but also to the environment. Our constant population increase triggers more challenges to our country. There are so many points mentioned by the Catholic Church that I believe are so out of line. I believe that sex education and contraception are the best ways to educate and prevent population increase.

I can still remember back in 5th grade, I already know the different parts of a vagina and a penis. Yes, at 5th grade. Was there malice? Nope. I guess it depends on who is teaching the subject. My home economics teacher explained it well. Besides, what is wrong about knowing your reproductive system? We were hitting puberty then so I believe that is the best time to learn about our private parts. I don't think there is anything wrong with teaching sex education. I have seen a lot of teen moms and I know a few women who opted for abortion because they got pregnant by accident and by lack of proper contraception. Yes, some committed abortion because it was an unexpected and unwanted pregnancy. Which is more horrible, sex education or a young girl who chose to abort her child? Tell me.

It is time for some people their eyes to the harsh reality. We are living in a period where everything and anything can be seen on the internet. We are living in a period that is very much open to sex.

We have the right to choose. We have the right to get best option that can help us reach our full potential. I believe that as a person, we should be responsible for our own actions, be ready for the consequences that it entails. Regardless of our belief, we should make wise decisions.

At the end of the day, it is only the Almighty who can truly judge us.
As the smoke of the RH bill battle clears, it is only God who can pass judgment. Not me, not you, most especially not the man who said some pretty harsh things earlier this week.

Posted at 1:06 am by mianne
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