I am currently thinking of ways on how to start this blog and I must admit I don’t know how to. A lot of things happened to me this year that I must say that I am definitely getting older. The experiences I am having lately are definitely of a different level and I thank the Lord for not leaving me.

2014 has been challenging for me and my family. We had a few drama episodes that led to me and mom leaving the house for a while. To set the record straight, I demanded to leave the house and not my mom. She wanted to stay but I told her its not going to happen, we’re leaving and that’s it. Nonetheless, the issue has been resolved we’re back to where we belong. Home is where the heart really is.

2014 also brought happiness and a lot of surprises to me. I’ve meet a lot of new people, gained new friends and lost others. Regardless, life has been beautiful. I’ve learned a lot from work. I’ve learned lessons that made me realize that I deserve everything that I had, have and will be having. J Unfortunately, I am getting more addicted to going to work! Ack!

Love has yet to happen this year (haha) yes, I have yet to get him back or find someone else. I guess, my love life is at TBD status. I am planning on doing things right this year, I believe it’s my year to prepare for that one great love. I think he’s waiting for me, I know he is. For some reason, I believe that we are an unfinished business; our ending happens once the wedding starts. (naks)

Happy 2015 everyone! I wish everyone happiness, peace of mind and love.

God Bless y’all.

I have been trying really hard accepting the apology that will never come. I am not sure if it’s fair for me to insist on moving on or if I should say straight to her face how much she hurt me. I thought that I knew who my true friends are, that the people I am with are the real ones. Apparently, there are some who would just intoxicate me with their negativity.

I want to tell you that I can’t believe you have the nerve to act the way you did. I hate you for acting like you’re the victim and all that you did was right. I am hurting because you treated me like I am one of those stupid guys that you’ve dated. Yes – I was never your friend, you treated me like trash. If you truly were the friend you said you were, you wouldn’t make me look, feel shit every time you dug yourself a hole. I tried to reach out every single time, and yet when your faults are discussed, you start to shutdown, worst – you blame it on me.

How many times have you used me?
How many times have you lied to me?
How many times have you been true to me?

I don’t know which is true anymore. I wanted to tell you how much you’ve hurt me and yet, I never had the chance coz you’ve actually acted victim – again.

Nonetheless, the decision to move out of EW was the best thing I’ve ever done. For the first time, I decided for my own well being. I will never be happy in EW again, knowing that I’ll see you everyday. I am sad because I know feel this much angst towards you and yet I feel relief because finally I am thinking of myself first – finally!

I still in the process of accepting that I’ll never get that apology I’ve always wanted. You’ll never apologize, you’re too proud and you think you’re always right. I just have to accept the fact, so I can be happy.

FYI, I didn’t know you blocked me, I found out from other people. It’s actually a good thing because my news feed is full of good vibes now. BANG!

P.S. We are not the problem missy, you’re too angry to see that you’re the cause of all the negativity and bad luck that you’ve been experiencing. How many times have you consulted the cards? How many times have they stated the SAME THING? Grow up! Learn how to be accountable to your own actions. You are close to being 40.

 These recent years have been the most colorful years of my life. I am proud to say that I’ve loved, loving and will love someone who made me see life and love at a different perspective. I am not perfect, the same way the he is not perfect, but our imperfection made our bond grow stronger. We hit it off well, we were stuck like glue and everything seemed so right. We started out as partners in crime then turned into each other’s confidant. We’ve asked for each other’s opinion when it comes to critical decisions.

Love comes to us unexpectedly. I guess, that is the beauty of it, you’ll never know when it strikes. When it (love) hits you, you have to decide if you ready to risk it all. It is never easy to risk everything and be ready to be hurt. Love is patient, Love is kind, and love is all that it can be and more. It’s up to us how we manage our lives when we realize love has stayed or if love has gone away.

I’ve learned to love and not be loved in return, but I guess, the friendship we have is what makes me hold on for so long. I can’t lose a friend in the process of forgetting him. I guess, I have to learn to be a friend and to see him as a friend. I am happy for everything that he has achieved and will be achieving so far, I am proud of him. I may not be his main cheerleader, but I will always be at the sidelines. I’ll be watching him as he turns into the man he’s destined to be. I know that he’s going to be more than he can ever be and more. The faith that he has exhibited is a good example for his future family.

I am starting to accept that I will never be a part of his life. I will forever be his good friend. The girl who never fails to stand by his side when he needs an ally, confidant and adviser during the tough times. He’ll forever be the dude who started it all.

Life without love is sad and yet safe. Nonetheless, I’d rather be sad than always be safe.

I am learning and beginning to take it one day at a time. I am still hurting though, but I know I’ll get better someday. I will, big girl na ko eh.

2013 has been a rollercoaster ride for me and for the entire family. This year, gave us a lot of tears and cheers and we all came out scarred yet blessed. I believe that if it wasn't for the Man above, we wouldn't make it out alive. I am happy that we made it through all the challenges that life threw at us this year.

I am happy that i get to spend my year with my family and friends. I can definitely say that because of all of them, i made it through. I made it through all the craziness of this year. Just like any year, there were some good times that made a mark on my so-called life. ;-) I was able to spend quality time with people who mean a lot me. I've learned to let go and let life and God take over the rest.

My heart has been tested quite a few times during the year. I am slowly beginning to turn things around and start to love me more before I love others. I am still a work in progress, as i always say. Although, i am also trying to put that progress into success. I'll be fine, i am beginning to let go. I am beginning to let him go and let him be the best man he can be. I know it will happen, its beginning to unfold right infront our eyes.

This year had its share of truimph and defeat. i've learned to be more of a daughter than i once was. I learned to be more of a friend who listens. I've learned to be more independent and learn to value time i spend alone. Also, i've learned that I can love someone way more than I can love anyone else. Even if i know that, his love will never be mine.

2014 is fast approaching 2 hours and some minutes to be exact, and I am excited. This year is going to be my year. Yes, I am claiming, its going to be my year. :-)

I wish everyone a prosperous New Year!
Keep God at the center of all your adventures.

2012 is about to bid us farewell. As I look at how everything went down this year, I am happy that I made it out ALIVE. :)

2012 has been a challenging year for me and my family. From my dad's hospitalization last February to my mom's 2nd degree burn last November, we managed to live yet another year - we're still here boy! We couldn't have done it without our one and only Father, He never let his children down. I never felt that I was alone for I know He is there standing right next to me. I found strength I never knew I had, the kind that helped me through all the tough times and help me through. 2012 brought me down to my hands and knees quite a few times but God was always there to lift me up. I was never alone. :)

2012 was a year of learning. I learned that there are people who care for me. :) (way more than what I thought) I learned that I can actually find sweetness in the most unexpected places. I learned that I am strong, strong as anyone can be and may be even stronger than you ;)

I am thankful for everything that transpired this year. I am welcoming 2013 with the fact that I have my entire family with me. We made it out strong and healthy. I am thankful for all the wonderful people who made my year truly colorful. To my wonderful friends, who made life even more inspiring and worth living – thank you.  

Everything that happened to us this year are all WORTH IT.
Thank you Father, You never left me. Never leave for the rest of my life, okay? :)

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!
SPREAD AND FEEL THE LOVE

Cheers!

Last night, as I sip my mojito, I began to reminisce how awesome this year has been to me. There were ups and downs, but I can definitely say that this year taught me a lot. These lessons will definitely lead me in to becoming a better version of myself. It is never easy to make lemonade out of all the lemons that I had. 26 years of being me is never easy, it took a lot of learning to get to be where I am now.

Being 26, wow! I am baffled even in entertaining the idea that I am no longer a teenager. Alas! I am a woman now, no more stupid decisions. I still have my impulsive side, right Kate? I guess, I just have to learn how to be more reasonable about things. Learn who to trust and who to spend wonderful moments with.

I am blessed to have people who are awesome. I am happy to have the opportunity to be of service to the Lord and to my family. I still have a lot of experiences to undergo. I still have a lot of lemons to face and learn to make lemonade easier. It all takes time, for time can bring out the best and worst in people.

26! Shet! Cheers to being 26!!!

I began losing track of everything that I promised myself that I won’t do. I’ve also lost touch of what my purpose is and all that I want to do in life. I think I am at that phase wherein I know where I am headed; it’s just that I am distracted. I know that I should maintain focus because I am not getting any younger, however, how can I be when my once source of distraction is always in front of me.

I acknowledge the fact that this will turn into heartache someday but, a part of me is saying otherwise. It’s like your head is saying no and the rest of your body (not just the heart) is saying yes. I am pulled a hundred different directions but what I see is that one distraction.

I tried to manage all my strings, but there is this one string that seems to be unavailable at the moment. I guess, I just have to make do with what I have, for the meantime that is.  Will I ever get that string? – that is the question.

For now, all I can do is to enjoy the remaining strings that I have and all the puppets that I can play with. Don’t worry about me, this entry is not as sad as it seems. J

I am lost in all my emotions. I used to feel like I am ready to let go, now, I am at that point wherein I don’t feel like doing it. I owe myself happiness, and I get that when I am with that person who is hurting me the most. I must say, this is not a good feeling. I don’t even know what and how to feel. I am beginning to doubt my feelings and just leave. However, every time I feel like moving on, he keeps on pulling me back. Just like what I used to say, one step forward, two steps back.

I am back where I started. I thought I was ready to move on and live my life the way I used to. Now, I am back to my old dilemma and that feeling of ‘hope’ that this whole saga will turn into a happy ever after kind of story. What should I do? I honestly don’t know.

I am back to square one.

I am torn.

He’s back. I hate it; he knows how to make me feel better. He knows what to do and what to say, every single time.

I have been struggling lately. I guess my latest posts say it all in black and white (literally). I am going through some rough patch and I think that it will take some time before I can really say that I am okay. Although I have noticed a few changes in me, I am beginning to just let things be and let things happen as they come. I guess, I am beginning to learn that I am not a permanent fixture in his life, and he has the right to be with whoever he wants to be with.

Again, my heart is broken and I am picking up the pieces. I am halfway done and I still have a few more to piece together. However, I am in no position to stop building what was broken. I owe it to myself, and I owe it to all the people I care about. I am getting there, don’t worry about me, I will be fine. J

I still believe in fairytales. I still believe in love and happy ever after. I am still convincing myself that it’s not with him. I will have my happy ever after with someone else. By the time that comes, I’ll be the happiest girl in town. And then I’ll realize that I am not dreaming a dream coz its already my reality.

Time will tell.